Personality conflict dating relationships

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Yet no one outside of psychiatric treatment seemed to have a clue about their behavior – and often reacted in ways that made things worse.

Since I was also seeing the same personality-disordered behavior in workplace disputes and neighbor disputes, as well as non-divorce legal disputes, I wanted to explain to others what was going on.

That way no one had to waste time figuring anyone else out. In the end—no matter how we refine policies and procedures, no matter how well we train managers or finely construct a job description—we still have to deal with other people. Surely he was referring to other people's personalities.

Personality, that quirky grab bag of traits, tics, reactions, and beliefs that distinguish one person's projected self from another's, is the wild card of the workplace.

We all know that different people have different personality types. According to the most useful system I have encountered — it’s called the “Enneagram” — there are nine basic personality types. But we mostly tend to identify with one to three of these types.

And how do personality differences impact our relationships?

Whereas most of the stressors we encounter at the office can be scheduled, delegated, avoided, or at least reimbursed, the personalities of one's coworkers remain the uncontrolled variable.

True, that variable largely recedes, swept under by the conforming tsunami of office culture, professionalism, and sheer workload.

I wanted to shift the focus to describe and deal with individuals, since it seemed that many high-conflict families included only one high-conflict person – and that dealing directly with that person would be the most effective way to help the family.

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